Ms... The known and the unknown

Lots of people have asked me if I had any symptoms of MS before my diagnoses and the answer is YES! I have known for a while that something was wrong, but was just unsure of what it was.

I have had a lot of random issues mainly over the last 2 years that has made my life very challenging. Ranging from vertigo, tingling, migranes, leg and foot pain, change in my balance and complete exhaustion. Most of the symptoms I've had can't really be seen externally though now I do have more trouble when I over do it, am exposed to extreme heat or am stressed. All of this just gives me emotional turmoil and anger because I hate being 38 and feeling like a 90 year old.

 Every time I went to the doctor they found nothing wrong with me, even though I felt inside that something was wrong. But since I was told nothing was medically wrong I just kept pushing myself only to find myself more worn out. I worked out, dieted to try to lose weight in an fruitless effort to get more energy to do what I needed to do.

Most would comment it was because I was raising 3 kids and not getting enough sleep or I needed change this or that - none of those tricks worked. I worked out and try all kinds of tricks, had my blood checked for thyroid problems, diabetes, and vitamin deficiencies and all results came back "normal". I am not going to say that raising 3 kids is not exhausting, but I started every day exhausted, even before I did anything for my littles.

My exhaustion was worse than just a little bit of being overwhelmed and tired, it was more like  painful to do what I needed or wanted to do. As any parent knows, kids don't give you a break when you are sick. So I was in "go mode" all the time. I would do all I could do until Brian got home.
Thank God I have a husband that steps in when I need him. He is understanding when I tell him I can't do something or need help. I am so blessed to have a true partner in this marriage.

I still did anything I had planned or wanted to do with the kids because even though my gut told me something was wrong, medically I was told all was normal. So I went to the zoo, the park, the pool vacations, and other activities. I just did not feel great while I was there, but I just told myself "it is not about my enjoyment but about the kids having fun". I used to enjoy all these things with my kids so I got increasingly frustrated when I did not really enjoy myself. I just wanted to go back home. Home was not really easy either though because there is piles of laundry and dishes and work to be done here, while kids at that age still needed to be constantly entertained. Knowing that my bed was so close and I could not just lay in it when I felt bad was almost more frustrating than being out.

When I finally received the MS diagnosis, I was a bit relieved that I was not going crazy and that there really was something wrong with me, but not too thrilled that it was a lifelong progressive disease. Even though I was diagnosed, I still felt the need to push myself even though everything I read told me how I need to slow my life down and relax more and not push myself. I was thinking "I'm not 90!"  I am not going to slow down because of this disease, but I found myself tired all the time still so I decided to take some of the suggestions and started making my life simpler.

The first one I did was assign Brian to dishes - FOREVER. I had already been leaving them for him for a while but now decided to make it official. The kids used to have to clean up every now and then, but not as much as I did but now they are are my little helpers. I do not want this disease to become a burden on any of them (my husband or my kids), but it is going to help us bond more as a family because we now do everything as "Team Pierce". I have also decided that even though I had a five year plan of home improvements and five years later we are still stuck in phase 1, I had to just let it go. I will get to that stuff when I get to it. I have had to let a lot of things go, you know, not sweat the small stuff! It is not easy and though I say I am doing it, I am only doing it a little. It takes a while to slow a high strung person down. This disesase has done a lot of it for me and on the days that I don't feel well I really do not care about all the stuff I have not accomplished, but on the days that I do feel well, I do get angry at what I have not done or what I have to do just to catch up.

I realized this is not a disease to take to a back seat to, I need to stay proactive in my exercise and  eating and keep my mental health in order.  I am now on a new oral medication (which is exciting because most MS medications are injections) that will hopefully slow down the disease's progression. I am not a pro at this either. I have only been aware of this disease for 6 months. I have a lot more to educate myself on and a lot more stuff I want to do before it get worse and I have a lot more to learn about chilling out and taking a break.

It is pretty easy to stay positive when I feel good. The tricky thing about this disease is it can throw you off balance (literally) at any time. It is embarrassing to fall in front of others and it brings in all kinds of bad thoughts into your head while you try to stand back up. It is easier if you have been drinking all day when you fall, at least then you can blame something external.  However, a feeling of your own body giving out on you is a hard pill to swallow. Reading some of the material about the disease is tricky too. Sometimes it is nice to be educated about what you are going through adn to have validation for something you are feeling, but there is a lot out there with this disease that I have not experienced yet and don't want to! So when trying to educate yself sometimes I find out about symptoms or issues that scare me and then I have to work on bringing myself to trying not to worry about it if has not happened to me yet!

You never know when an attack is going to happen and you never know what it will be. Sometimes an eye loses vision, sometimes it's vertigo, sometimes my legs feel like jello and sometimes they lock up and simply won't respond. It is hard to stay positive and keep exercising and eating healthy and keeping a strong mental state when you have no idea how this came about, how long it will be here and if it is permanent. Luckily, my husband is good at reinforcing the positive into my life and though my kids are exhausting, they really love to help me when they know I am having trouble.  That in itself makes my heart melt!

There are many other struggles ahead with getting on the right medicine and getting it approved by insurance, being able to afford the co-pays, getting child care covered when I have doctor appointments and probably lots of other things I have not even encountered yet. The drug I am getting right now has not been approved by my insurance company so the manufacturer of the drug is providing me the medicine for the first year. Depending on whether or not my insurance company is going to comply, I may have to switch medicines, even if this one is working. That is really frustrating.

I worry that I may somehow pass it on to my kids. They say MS is not hereditary but they also don't know what exactly causes it.  Even so, there are many people that are related that do get it. A lot of people with autoimmune diseases are lacking in vitamin D so I am keeping up with my kids' intake of that to at least eliminate that possibility! I will get them checked every few years to make sure they have appropriate levels.

Since finding out about having this disease and making some small adjustments to vitamins and finding small improvements on conserving my energy has made a huge difference in how I feel day-to-day. I have had more good days than bad in the last 3 months. The drug I am taking does not help me in the here and now, it mostly is to help slow or stop the progression over the next 20 or so years. The goal of my doctor is keep me at the stage I am in now for 20 years, or until a cure is found. My goal is to feel like I am 20 again! I think if I can keep up with my regular exercise and stretching routines and this medicine does what it is supposed to, I will at least feel my age for the next 10-15 years.

We appreciate any support and prayers you have for our family. This picture was taken at our first family MS walk to show support for my new disease and help support finding a cure! It makes my heart so full of love to know that every one of my family members is behind me and wants to make sure that I am ok. Even Sophia often asks if I am feeling ok! This our new journey. By 2014 I hope to have a new tag line and logo and tshirts for my supporters!

Ready, Set, Prep!

In less than 3 weeks I am undergoing a major surgery to improve my quality of life. I am so tired of the pain, constant discomfort and embarrassment that comes along with having large breasts and can't wait to change that! I am looking forward to holding my family closer. Now is the time for preparation. The advantage of knowing ahead of time of when the surgery is and how long the recovery time is that I can prepare my house and my family for this transition.

This week I have been cleaning and trying to organize the house too. If someone asks me where something is, I wanted to be able to tell them. I also cleaned out my fridge so that it is ready to stock up with the foods that my husband and I are going to prepare ahead of time and groceries I will need to have on hand for my never completely full babies. I need to work on the kids rooms and make their clothes easy to find and tell my husband and my kids the system so they can also find what ever they are looking for.

Though it sometimes seems like a short time, I will be out of commission for 2-4 weeks. With the 1st week being completely out of commission for myself, but more importantly, my family. I am very nervous about how all the pieces need to come together for this so that I can heal properly and yet also not have my family, or my children without meals, transportation and general care. It will be hard not to hold them, pick them up and care for them as I have. Sophia will have the hardest time with it, but we are working on preparing her more and more each week as it gets closer. In the grand scheme of things, I have been waiting a really long time to have this done and now we all just have to suffer through 2-4 short weeks and it will all be better. That is what I keep telling myself anyway!

Luckily, I have an awesome church and friends that are willing to help me get back on my feet and fully functional. I am so thankful for them and would not be able to do this without them!  I am also planning on using that same group from church and friends to pray for my surgery, my recover and ease my fears of anything tragic happening that end my life instead of improving it. Unfortunately it is a risk and one I worry about alot. But I am trying to improve my life, my health and keep up with my kids and since the risk is small, I am praying for a successful outcome!

With this surgery is a lot of other changes I am making. I am aware that my breasts are not the only trouble spot on my body and I have already started many changes to transform the rest of me too, but most of that work will start after surgery and recovery. I have been working out for a couple years, I started making major changes in my diet since this summer and plan on stepping all of these things up a few notches after I am recovered. Well, the eating the right things can start right away, but the working out will be a gradual process to get to the level that changes start taking place in my stomach, arms and legs. I am going to take a picture of myself tomorrow and will have some progress by June, but hoping for even more progress one year from today.

2013 is my year for improving me and my family at the same time. Brian is on board with me for our new healthy eating and we are researching new ways to make it easier. Hopefully I can get  my kids to eat healthier and luckily they already love to exercise! If you have any ideas, we are considering all options at this point! Four days prior to my surgery

I still have a lot more preparation to do with meals, chaildcare and planinng, but now that Christmas is over, preparation is my number one priority! 

Happy New Year to all of you!

Sea World

 

We were so excited to go to Sea World with my parents and the kids. Brian had to go to Orlando for a week for work so we tagged along with him and then invited my parents up from Port St Lucie to join us! We tried to keep it a secret from the kids, but as soon as James heard we were going to Florida, he knew Grammie and Poppy would be there!

We had an awesome time seeing all the Orcas, turtles and dolphins. All 3 kids love all animals so much it was really neat for them to see them up close! I would do this trip again in a minute!

death defying!

Well, after a very stressful week of thinking I was dying, I found out I have a hemagioma. See definition below. So I went to the ER with stomach pains and the ER said they thought it was either Apendicitis or Kidney stones. After some tests they said itwas not either of those and sent me home, but right before I left they said there is a spot of some sort on your liver, tell your doctor about it and get it checked out. So I worried at first and went to the doctor right away, but she said, it could be anything from nothing to something serious so lets just wait and see what the radiologist says and we will get back to you. So after a couple days of not hearing anything I kind of started to relax a bit until Monday morning when a nurse called first thing and said I needed to go to Northside and get an MRI of my liver ASAP. I was disappointed that my doctor was not in so I could not ask the million questions going thru my mind, but she said that they were faxing over the order to northside and I needed to go there as soon as I could make an appointment. THAT made me really worried. I called my husband and booked the appointment for the next morning. In the past when I have needed an MRI or any other test I either picked up the doctors order or they mailed it then I made the appointment and the fact that they were faxing it and not allowing enough time for me to pick it up or for it to be mailed made me worry even more!

So all week after the MRI my mind was racing with all these thoughts and of course I researched the internet and decided I was dying. I started making a list of all the things I needed to do before I died and none of them involved like skydiving or trip around the world, they were all to get thigns in order for my kids and my husband. I went into a huge panic depression over maybe not seeing important events in my kids lives to maybe not evening seeing any of my kids hit double digits. And my poor husband, working his tail off at work to race home and figure out 3 kids, he would be so stressed all the time and all alone. So I was thinking of joining eharmony and finding him a new wife, or at least getting the process started. Maybe I should have just looked into mail order brides- something!

I had all these ideas of recordings I wanted to leave the kids and when was I going to have time for that in between treatments and actually spending time with them. I wanted to make sure I got caught up on their photobooks and keepsakes. I, at this time, am not dying and I am so thankful, more than ever because there is so much to do in such a short time. If I would have had liver cancer, they usually barely make it 6 months, and if you are lucky barely make it 5 years and that was just so overwhelming. The sad thing is, there are people out there who have to think about these things and my heart goes out to them and their families. I am so thankful that I dont have to do all of these things right now and can just spend time loving my kids and my husband and not taking them forgranted and pray for those who have this burden.

So after several days of all this huge stress, they call and say it is hemangioma- it is not cancerous! I was so excited. Beyond excited. THANK YOU GOD!

According to the Mayo Clinic is ---A liver hemangioma is made up of a tangle of blood vessels. Most cases of liver hemangioma are discovered during a test or procedure for some other condition. Most people who have a liver hemangioma never experience signs and symptoms and never need treatment.
So there you have it, NON CANCEROUS! Yeah. But of course they scare the crap out of you before you know this outcome and it is very stressful!

Soccer

This year we signed James up for soccer- though we have not ever been focused on one sport or another, since James was able to walk he always showed such athleticism- he can catch any size ball, he can dribble a ball both with his hands and as they do in soccer with his feet. He always would try to do crazy stuf too, like catch a ball while jumping, or trying to kep his balance on a box and catch the ball. Anyway, we have been excited to get him into sports to see what he could do- so we even got him earlier than we should- since he was supposed to be 4 before SEPT 1st to play- Brian talked to the guy, James tried out and he was in!

Well, if he is going to be an athlete, and if this year counts for anything- I dont think it is going to be in soccer! He does so well playing soccer by himself, but he just does not get that the other kids are not going to kick the ball TO him- he needs to go after it! Not only did not go after it, but he spent most of the time being in teh way of his own teammates, or just walking around with the coach on the field. Oh, it drove me nuts!

So every Thursday we go to practice at 5:30- I have to load everyone up and try to keep the girls occupied and entertained for that hour, which is not always easy. On Saturdays, we all get up at quickly eat breakfast to get the field, it takes longer to get 3 kids 3 and under out the door with all the supplies than it does for James to play- if you even call it playing! he did do better at practice then at games, however, they broke out into smaller groups or did drills and he is good at that part- it just game days- oh he gets out there, and we are all on the sidelines, he would just walk of the field and say- "I want to watch the game with you", or " I am hungry", I am too tired to play today", or "it is too cold"---- it drove me even crazier because I had to hall all three kids to and from each practice and games, with all this stuff and he was not even playing, not even trying to play soccer!

There are both older kids and a couple his age or younger on the team, and though not every one of them was fabulous, but they did at least try during the games to score- even if it was in the wrong goal! I would have been so thrilled for him to get a goal - even if it was for the other team! So each week, I would just cheer for the other players on his team, and hope that next week he would step it up and play- NOPE!

Oh it gets better- at the last game they all got a little trophy.. every one gets one. On the way home, James says, "this trophy guy looks just like me" and it took I had not to say to my 4 year old- "Not really, he is actually kicking the ball!" I just said to my husband and then took him home to pack up the soccer stuff for a LONG time!

I am so glad soccer is over!

Annual pumpkin patch

Every year when my parents come down we take the kids to the pumpkin patch. Last year Sophia arrived a couple days before we were supposed to go so we went Halloween day! It was still fun and not as busy since it was so late!

This year we decided to try out Burts since everyone has talked about it for so long. The drive was definitely longer, but the pumkin pie we brought home from there was delicious! The kids had a good time on the hay ride and looking at all the pumpkins.

The kids had a great time and I always try to get some decent pictures. Here are a few!

I Survived!

I survived my first full year with 3 kids 3 and under. There were days that I was not so sure I would make it, all three kids kept me very busy along with a few health problems trying to keep me down. Last week we celebrated our first combo birthday party for James and Sophia. This year since Charlotte is little too young to full understand that her birthday is 6 months later, we decided to celebrate her half birthday. We had a Pirate and Princess Party, we invited many friends and relatives to join in on the fun. The kids had such a good time and we were thankful for the awesome weather and that many kids that came, played their part and dressed up also!

It has been a hard year, from the unexpected early birth of Sophia and suddenly having 3 kids who cannot do anything for themselves it was a very physically demanding year and it did not help that I had a few medical problems throughout the year as well. I had heart trouble after Charlotte and thought I did everything I could to avoid it when having Sophia, but that was not the case. I had a low heart rate again and chest pressure so I had to be re-admitted into the hospital. I have always had migraines but I guess they like to reappear after having a baby just to complicate things. As the year went on, my migraines were less and less, thankfully!

I also developed vertigo this year. I had a few really bad episodes where I could barely walk, luckily it was on a few weekends, or close enough to one that I could get by. But it has not completely gone away so I have had to adjust to how I do things and how I can control it. I drive slower and I do not turn around as fast and I watch myself more for balance and things. It has gotten a lot better, but I can still feel it every now and then. Brian and I went to a football game in September and when the crowd shook the seats it made me nausea. I cannot watch TV shows that have fast moving cameras, I probably will not be able to watch my Own home videos, since my camera work is terrible.

In September I had some sort of an allergic reaction and had hives all over my body that was very itchy and uncomfortable, then at the end of September I developed shingles, just as I was getting over shingles, I was in a car accident that hurt my back. I am hoping that my random health issues are over and I can concentrate on feeling good and getting back into working out and getting some of my energy back.

I did complete something I never thought I would ever even start, a triathlon. That was way more a challenge then I ever thought it would be. I did complete it and feel good that I did that, but training was hard- Brian was so supportive the whole time and often trained with me. I enjoyed the actual training when I did it, but getting to the Y when I needed to go was a huge problem with 3 kids and my random healthy issues. I did fine on the stationary bike, but every now and then I would get vertigo while riding my bike and riding near cars or other bikers passing me made it especially more difficult. I also was not prepared for the hills of North Carolina, boy did they kick my butt! I did jog more of the event than I had in training and was really proud of myself for that. I also was not the last person- there were not many behind, me, but I was not last!

It is still amazing to me how much babies change in that first year of life. And knowing that it was my last time going through each stage for my last time made me appreciate them more and more though at the same time I was anxious for her to get to the stage that James and Charlotte are at now. The whole year was really like being with two 3 year olds and a baby.. it was helpful that the older two were pretty much at the same stage because I could do the same things with them both.

All three of my kids amaze me every day with how quickly they learn and are excited to know more. I am so impressed with how quickly Charlotte caught up to James and I feel certain that Sophia will be caught up to Charlotte by the middle to end of next year or sooner. She is already pretty close in height and weight! James, now 4, is still way ahead of his age with his vocabulary and his understanding of things. If you teach him something one time, he has it in his head and is willing to teach it to the next person. He has been so exciting to watch grow and learn. Charlotte, though she can be so sweet and sometimes shy also has a sassy-ness to her that is going to be challenge as she gets older, but when she is sweet, she is really sweet!
Sophia has her temper tantrums, but she is not as sassy as Charlotte. She is really a mix between the first two which is a great combination to be! She loves to give hugs and really wants to be able to keep up with the other two so she will be joining the action in no time.

Though Brian works a lot of hours and is not home as much as we want him home, he is a great dad and we are incredibly blessed to have such a loving supportive father and husband. I know on the days or weeks that I was especially tired I took out all my frustrations on him. He works very hard so that I am able to stay home with our children and raise them the way we want to raise them so I am very appreciative of all he does!

This last year has been tough, but I would not trade it for a thing. I love taking care of my babies and doing fun things with them. The most physically draining year is behind us now and soon enough they will all be able to get in and out of the car themselves, buckle and unbuckle themselves, get dressed themselves and pack a suit case for themselves and so on, so I am glad to do these things now. I could do without the medical issues, but since I can't, we have learned to just roll with them. I am looking forward to the many changes my kids will go through this year. Sophia is going to learn to talk and run to keep up with these 2. James is going to be getting ready for pre-k going to school 5 days a week and Charlotte is going to be learning a bigger vocabulary and making friends at school.

TRIATHLON COMPLETE!

I would first like to say I am proud to have done this, proud of the other girls I did it with and excited about the new friendships I made!

I was REALLY tired before I even left. I was up several nights with different kids, I also did not sleep well before the race because I was nervous about the hills and being away from the kids and just everything so that made the race harder, they started later than they orgiinally said and I was really frustrated with that because it is AUGUST and we needed to get in there and get it done before being in the heat of the day!

The pool section I felt pretty good about, I passed a couple people and I got passed once. I did have a little incident that while passing someone who appeared to not be moving decided to move just as I was passing her and she splashed water right in my mouth as I was in haling and that was not fun, but it was right at the end so I just saved the choking until I got out of the pool while I was moving to the transition area.

Also the hills were just rough! Really tough! In fact, when you come out of the pool and get dressed for the bike, you make a right out of the Y, you dont even have time to get going before you are going up the biggest hill in the entire race. I did not even make it up a quarter of the way and then I had to walk my bike up the hill. There were 2 other big hills, but not as big as that one, those I made it up about half way and then had to get off and walk my bike up them. The breeze sure was nice on the way down though!

The bike trail was a 4 mile loop that you had to do 2ce. So, the good news is you knew what you were in for, the bad news is... you knew what you were in for! I wish I would have taken a little longer at the transistion to catch my breath so that I was not already out of breath trying to get up that first hill, but I still was not in shape for hills that big!!

I also had swallowed some water and so I threw up a little on my way up, so that was fun! Also while in the pool, someone had knocked my water bottle over and since I had not put the lid on right it leaked and so I only had half a bottle of water for the entire bike ride- luckily on the second loop I asked a volunteer for her water, and literally took it right out of her hand and drank it!

I walked most of the trail but wanted to run in so I ran about the last quarter mile and with about 2 tenths of a mile left, my friend cara met me and was cheering me on and even ran beside me for a minute until we crossed the bridge and then I crossed the finish line!

I also did not plan on the emotions, part of it was because I was so tired, I am always more emotional when I am tired, but I did not know I was going to cry so much. I cried during the national anthom. I was like, wow, they play the national anthem for REAL athletes and this time it is for me.. so I cried. I cried when this volunteer guy was cheering on while I was way down the hill and then when I got my bike he cheered even louder for me and was so awesome. I cried when I was walking because there was a person in a wheelchair cheering others including me on, and I cried when I saw Cara cheering for me because I was so happy she finished, I was even more happier that I was about to be finished and then I cried after my shower for whatever reason! I was just an emotional wreck. Once I got some sleep, I was done crying.

I did not finish in the time that I set for myself, but I only missed it by 5 minutes and I always say, being late 5 minutes is not anything to sweat about, so I am not going to worry about it. I did complete it and was the last one in my group, but I also have more kids and younger kids then the rest.

I will say I feel like I am in a triathlon every day with these crazy kids, but at least now I have a real one to compare it to! Sometimes we are going up one of those hills and I am struggling to make it and sometimes we just relax and feel the breeze as we go down hill!

ONE week left!!!

Well, this is my last week until my Triatholon. Am I ready, well that is a trick question!! I am kind of ready for it. I am excited and nervous about so many things! I think I can accomplish all three things, unless the bike route is on some crazy hills or someone takes me out when they crash!


I have been working pretty hard all summer though, I did not train as much as I would have liked to in NY. The Y had this tiny pool that was not condusive to swimming laps and the bike my uncle was going to let me borrow never surfaced and my walking kind of died out because of the stupid, pesky bugs up there that attack you! I did do a little bit up there but also because my kids caused me to get so little sleep each night, it was a bit hard to just get thru each day!


I thought I would work out harder when I got back, which i did the first week, but the second weekmy kids all passed around a stomach bug that kept us from going to the y all week and my bike had a flat tire. So now it is 6 days away and I have to step it up a few notches to get me back in this race and feeling good about it. I already worked out this morning and plan on going every day this week in order to get myself as ready as I can for this event next weekend.


I knew this was going to be hard to do with 3 small children, things always come up and keep me from doing what I would like or need to do and sometimes I regret signing up because of the conplete lack of control over my time. I barely had time to go to the bathroom BEFORE I signed up for this and I had let a lot of things go like cleaning my house and such except for the necessities (which change on a weekly basis) so since I have been training, it has gotten even worse. But on the other hand, one of the other things that I constantly let go of with each kid that I have is ME.


I don't take care of myself the way I used and though I have not ever been a high maintenance type of girl, I did take care of myself, now showering is about all I can get done- most of the time someone pulls me out of the shower before I am done, so I often have had shampoo or conditioner still in my hair, sometime I would forget one of those things all together, putting on deoderant or lotion afterwards is a luxury I sometimes just dont get anymore! As each one gets older I get a little pieces of me back, and though I think I may have jumped the gun and started a little too early for this, I needed to know that I could still do something on my own. This race is about a healthy ME, getting my body back and getting my strength back- both of which I need to handle THEM!


If I can keep everyone in my family healthy for a few more days and at least get in some more workouts, I should be able to tackle this thing with the confidence I had before I went to NY. Right now, my confidence is down due to my lack of training and nerves, but I can get it back in a few days of hard training and maybe a few moments of prayer!!


The next time I write in this blog, I will have completed a triathlon or I will be in the hospital!

NY Trip

This summer I went to way upstate NY where my family has some cabins, one of which is a log cabin. I have loved this area my whole life and have always dreamed of bringing my kids here one day!

We had a great time, but boy was it a lot of work!! The cabin is small for 7 people, it does not have air conditioning and only one queen (for my parents) and 2 twin beds! It was hot, the air mattress kept giving me vertigo and the kids went to bed late and were up early every day!

Other than though, the kids were great and really loved clear lake, the cabins and all the fun stuff we did. We went out on the boat with Uncle Glen, we went to parks and playgrounds, we went over the Thousand Island bridge and spent some days just hanging out at the cabin. I got to see my favorite Aunt and Uncle quite a bit, as well as my cousin Marty and his wife, some friends that I have had for years and years and also had some time to reflect on some memories.
It was a completely different trip up there though with 3 kids than my trips past! I used to go up here for complete fun and have zero responsibility other than my one project that helped the cabins. I also used to go out every night with some locals and met lots of people with boats and boated up adn down the river all the time wint out a care of what time it was.

This year, I had 3 kids to take care of, keep from drowning and away from the many other hazzards up there, it was a little crazy, but we still managed to have some fun and see family. If I only had a nanny to bring with me on vacation so I could have fun with the kids all day and then go out at night while the nanny got the kids ready for bed!

Oh well, next year every one will be a little bit older so hopefully it will be a little bit easier!

Training with the family!

Triathlon training is moving along pretty well! I have been swimming just about every other day and walking 2-3 days a week. I even threw in a few minutes of jogging here and there. Biking is going well too.

Today for the first time I took out the new bike trailer we bought last weekend. I am so excited because I was worried that I would not be able to pull it with 2 kids in i.t I pulled it no problem. We rode about 2 miles. Brian and James rode right a long with me well James is a little slow so we may need to get a 3rd kid seat of some type so we can have all 3 kids riding with us.

Even though James is not a very speedy bike rider (he is only 3) he is so supportive of me and my training. He is so encouraging and he likes to talk to me about it which is fun. Charlotte thinks it is cool too but she does not really completely understand that I am training for something. It is an AWESOME feeling to have my whole family supporting me in this exciting challenge. Brian is the one who talked me into it and not only is supportive, but he is training right along with me as my partner. He is my number one supporter and I love that!

I am heading to NY for a couple weeks but I am not going to stop training- I will be training in different ways and then when I come back I will take training up a few notches so that I am ready for my big day. In some ways I feel like I could accomplish it today, in some ways I feel like I have a long way to go and I need more training time. 2 months is a short amount of time, but I am taking advantage of the whole 2 months, I can only improve from here.

Triathlon

Before I registered I made sure that I was able to each activity for the distance it requires (plus some) separately (kind of), I just need to work on doing all 3 in one day. I don't care if it takes me all day to complete. I do not even run- I can walk or I can walk/jog. The bike ride is the longest thing and though I do not know the conditions or the race track, it is early in the morning and in NC, so I am hoping not as humid as it is here. I also only have a bike that was given to me so it is crappy. We have done a little work to it, but I have not even ridden it yet. I am also not used to riding on the road, I only ride staionary bikes- but I will be working on that for the next 2 months!!!

DO I think it is tough, of course I think it is tough, do you know how hard it is to load and unload 3 kids all the time who cannot get in and out of the car themselves and buckle or unbuckle themselves, I have to pack meals and snacks, as well as drinks, diapers and wipes and or a change of clothes every time I go. They are also both potty training, so I have to pull over and let them pee halfway there many times- which is very frustrating. Sometimes it seems like it takes forever just to get there, when I get to the Y I feel like I have already worked out and would rather sit down and drink about 4 beers! My training is 2ce as hard as most peoples, but having 3 kids in 3 years has done a number on my body and I need to whip it into shape to be able to keep up with them and have the endurance and stamina to last all day with 3 high energy kids!

Luckily, my kids LOVE going to the Y, so if I can work to get us all there, I know they are happy while they are there and that makes it easier, a little bit easier! In some ways, my energy level has increased, in others, I am still exhausted all the time. But I think that will get better as I continue on my training! I am sleeping better now that I am working out and I can only dream my exhaustion will just wither away!

I wish my husband and the kids could see me finish, but it would so add to my stress level to know they are roaming around, I would be worried if Brian was able to keep up with them and where they were. Since I hardly ever do anything any more without my kids, the time I am away from them is harder because I am always looking for them and wonder what 2 toddlers and now a crawling infant are up to is enough to drive me crazy!

I am doing this for me, I am doing this to have an accomplishment, I am doing this to get into shape, I am doing this for the health of our family. I may never do one again, but I want to at least try. If you would have asked me ONE week ago if I would ever do this, I would probably have laughed at you, but now that I have started this, I am in it all the way and am excited and a little nervous, but I am NOT here to win a medal- only trying to get to the finish line (or finish lion, as James calls it!)

I have so many factors that can happen that may not allow me to even go, one of the kids could be sick, Brian could have work issues, I could get sick or hurt training... something could come up with a loved one- who knows, but I am moving ahead with training until something stops me.. I have paid for it and unless one of the above issues or another issue I dont know about, I am moving forward with my goal!

Special Potty Seat!

I did not even get into what happened today. So this morning, I had a bunch of errands to do and I had to take all three kids with me because I have 3 kids and no one to watch them! One was the dry cleaners, which is easy because they have a drive thru, then I had to go to Brians work and get a copy of my drivers license, but he came out and got it, made the copy and then came back. So that is two errands without getting out of the car.

I then had a UPS package and certified letter to get, and while I was driving away from Brians work a UPS truck was driving to this 4 way stop so I jumped out of my car and told him to stop and handed off my package- Thank God I did not have to go to deal with that anymore so now my next stop was the post office where I was going to have to go in. Other than James asking for a postage stamp for his body it was pretty uneventful other than having to go potty at EVERY stop! Not Charlotte, but every time I asked Charlotte if she needed to go, James wanted to go in the "special" potty seat! Oh it was so annoying.

At the Y, after we went into the bathroom inside the Y before we left James said he did not have to go. He waited until I had all three loaded and buckled in the car to say he had to go, so I get out the baggie that he peed in earlier and ask him to aim in that. All was going well until he turned to tell Charlotte he was peeing in baggie and of course as he turned, so did his p*nis and sprayed my car, me and him! Luckily our next stop was home, but it just proves that there is never a dull moment with us!

Hopefully the fun of the car potty seat will die down soon or I may just lose my mind!

adding to my already challenging days......

James has been potty trained for a year, but in the last couple months there have been times that I thought we were going backwards. We had a few hectic weeks of travel and activities and he had more accidents in the month of may then he had while were potty training him.

Well, now things have hit a whole new level. I am now potty training Charlotte!!! She has been going in the potty at home most of the time, and we did still use diapers on and off sometimes at home, but always when we went out, but now I am working on going places and getting her to go potty which is just crazy!

The issue is the same here as it is when James needs to go- I have 3 kids that I have to physically get in and out of car seats and drag with me to random public bathrooms whenever anyone has to go potty! When it was just James I would just pull over and let him pee on my tire of my car, being a boy, that was not that bad. Now that I am potty training a girl- things are not that easy. I have finally gotten one of those potty seats for the car- which I swore I would never do and Charlotte does use it and is easier to go in the car then in dirty public restrooms- the problem is James now thinks it is FUN to go in the potty seat in the car so every time Charlotte has to go, he has to go too. It is such a pain, because he cannot unbuckle himself or buckle the bottom buckle so just like everything else I still have to climb in the way back to let him in and out of his car seat and of course it makes the amount of time we are pulled over so much longer and I feel like it takes us 2 hours to get anywhere!!!

If you are wondering how the photos fit in with this story- they dont, they are just random pics of these crazy kids sometime in the last month!

You can't always get what you want!!!

I have started listening to my own radio stations every once in a while in the car instead of ALWAYS listening to kids music which is nice most of the time.I listen to 80s, classic rockor christian music on the FISH. It is interesting when James asks me what songs mean or things are what is an "up town girl'" and other random questions about just about every song. It is challenging to answer sometimes and if I hear a song that has something in there that I do not want him to ask questions about I just change it as fast as I can.

James is one who listens to the words and really tries to figure out the meaning of it so you have to be some what careful about what songs we listen too because he takes everything so literally. He likes to find out the meanings of everything and he remembers it so I try to tell him the meaning of things and then I find that later on he tries to fit his new word into something he is doing. He also asks how to spell the words that he is hearing all the time too- which is fun too.

TODAY, was a good day on the radio, fun songs were on including " you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need! By the rolling stones. First of all James thought the band had a cool name and secondly, this song was perfect for them to listen to. They have been getting very demading lately so I thought it was fun to sing this song everytime they asked me for something! It is the little things in my world!!

Things are still crazy with 3, but we are getting by!

HEAVY baby on board!

It always cracks me up when people offer to help me carry the baby and they take one little lift of her car carrier and say, "how about I carry the diaper bag or hold one of the other kids hands!!" Sophia is one heavy baby!! She is 7 months old and about 22 pounds. I have not weighed her actually in the last month and she was just shy of 22 pounds then. She is wearing 18 month old clothes and looking more like a toddler every day. It sometimes seems as Sophia chuckles a little when someone does that too- like "ha, you thought you could carry me!"

Dont get me wrong, I appreciate the help. Every where I go, people look at me with pity or say "you have your hands full" and dont even bother holding open a door for me or something, but when I do get the help I appreciate it, we all get a good laugh though when they ask to carry her and then change their minds! I was surprised when my Uncle Glen carried her about half way into a restaurant and then said he could not carry her anymore! I kow 22 pounds does not seem like that much, but then you add in the 4 pounds of the carrier and then the bulkiness of the carrier and it is a lot! I am so looking forward to this baby walking! She has not started crawling yet and I am fine with her skipping that step! We need to go straight to walking!

Looking forward to watching her grow like the other 2, sometimes it seems we are running in place and other times like we are moving in superspeed. My older 2 are so good with the baby and they are always watching out for her and helping in any way they can. If they could only teach her to walk!!

My life with 3 getting thru day by day!

Some days I am amazed at how much easier things are with these 3 kids then they were 6 or even 3 months ago and then I have days like today where I have so much trouble with one kid I dont even know what the other 2 are doing.

James up today at 4 am, pooping on the floor because he says he "missed" the potty! then jumping on the bed, spraying shaving cream on the wall, opening a gift I received from someone and then pooring sugar on the counter- a lot of sugar! All of this was before 7, finally I sent he and his sister out on the porch so I could have a moment to feed the baby and she and Charlotte took off their pants and were throwing them up into the fan blades and watching the fan throw thier clothes across the room! I have no idea how they came up with that game!

We have had a busy month so maybe they are just all crazed from our Uncle Glen visiting, or our visit to Chattanooga. But this week we only have gymnastics today and then no other weekly activities until school starts- I am starting to wonder now if that was the right decsion! Is there still time to sign them up for something, is there anyone who wants to watch these kids for free for a few days a week? I guess this summer will be very interesting.

At least we have the Y- I have been trying to workout regularly since I joined a couple months ago, but between the kids activities, school and their naps, I just have not been consistent. Sometimes I dont go just because loading up 3 kids is a lot of work- the 2 big kids can climb into their seats and can do the top part of the buckle, but I still have to climb in the back to do the bottom buckle and then I have lift my VERY heavy baby into her car seat. You have to have drinks and snacks for everyone a bottle for the baby, diapers, change of clothes, blah blah blah. It is not as easy as it seems, espeically if youhave already done it once or twice a day. Once I get to the Y, I am happy so I just have to keep the mentality that it is all worth it! They will be able to provide me 2 hours of sanity a day and I plan on taking advantage.

This summer is proving to be a hot one so far, so I have our little play pool out back and plan on keeping the kids in that much of the summer. Taking 3 kids to the pool is not really that much fun so we may not visitreal pools very often this summer. I am hoping to get a little mothers helper for the summer and that should help me keep my sanity!

Just Disney pics

Disney World

The whole story and adventures are below, but just to recap, I will say the kids did GREAT! They really held up well for 3 days straight without naps and trying lots of new things. Though I knew I would be tired after this trip, but I never knew how sore my WHOLE body would be!!

I guess walking on pavement all day every day 3 days in a row and carrying children more than I planned to do, lifting, bending, walking in the heat really took a toll on my out of shape body. I was sore for 3 days straight after returning to Atlanta.

OK, so about 5 months ago, before Sophia was even born, I decided I wanted to take the older kids to Disney World this year- the older kids for me is a 3 year old and a 23 month old! My parents offered to watch the baby so we did not have to drag her around disney- which I was so grateful for. I saw a lot of babies in the hot sun there and was so glad that my baby was in the shade and getting alot of attention. It also allowed us to each ride and spend lots of time with the older kids and they needed that!

I did a lot of research beforehand, I talked to friends that had been with their kids and got lots of useful , I read a disney book about traveling with kids and of course did some research online I felt prepared before I left, and then left ALL my notes and research at home in Atlanta-I left it

to the side because the kids kept digging in my suitcase and I did not want them to lose or ruin my notes...and most of all I did not want them to take them out of my suitcase and make me forget them, HA HA, i forgot all of the notes and the book. No one to blame on that but myself.

I planned to go to Animal Kingdom on Sunday and then Magic kingdom on Monday because I read that Monday was their slowest day- if they have a slow day, Monday is it! When we checked in we bought our tickets to the 2 main parks and it included tickets to a smaller park of our choice. We chose to go to Typhoon Lagoon- a water park. It was fun, but it was busy walking around and swimming, but some of the things were too advanced for our kids and some of it they did not like. I think when they get older they will like water parks more.

The kids slept pretty well that night due to how busy we were that day and no nap! The next morning we had to be up and out early to go to our timeshare presentation, which is how we got such a good deal on our hotel reservations, so we had to go! I knew we were not going to buy a timeshare, Brian was not thrilled about going but he went. The kids were even pretty good at that place. They had a kids room where they hung out for about 45 mintes and then we brought the kids to the presentation with us, mostly to get out of there quicker and get to Animal Kingdom!

The kids were so excited to pull up to Disney and go on the Safari ride and a little train ride to Rafikis planet watch. There we saw our first character- Pocahontas! I bought little autograph books for the kids after over hearing some people talking about how the characters sign autographs and kids like it. I was SOOO glad to have that book because James walked right up to Pocahontas and had his book. but if Charlotte had not seen James hand her his book, she would not have gotten close to her. Charlotte was saying "I dont Like it!!" until she noticed James hand over his book and then she was saying "My book, my book!!" and then she took her book right up to Pocahontas and then to Rafiki, who I know if she did not have that book she would have not gotten anywhere close to Rafiki!! As the day went on, we met more characters and as long as Charlotte had her book she would approach them, but if she did not have it in her hand, she was not getting close! James was excited to see every one of them!

The next day was definately the day I had been looking forward to- Magic Kingdom!!! I knew the kids would love seeing the castle and ride the rides. It was fun to have it as the finale day, but it was also the MOST exhausting. It was 80+ degrees and full sun, busiest park we had been to so far and it was our 3rd day of very busy days and I think I did not take that into account. It was so fun and I got a little teary 2 times - once when we were on "its a small World" because I remember being on that when I was a kid. Charlotte was not as thrilled about it, but Ithink she was just so tired she could not appreciate it. She did just sat in her daddy's lap and took it all in. James was so excited about it.

The second time I got teary was when we were in front of the castle at about 4 pm to watch the show. Charlotte was up on my shoulders and when Minnie and the princesses came out, she was jumping up and down and clapping and I thought, this is why I went thru all this work to get us there, so she could enjoy that! Loved seeing her so happy and excited. I hate that we never really got to see the princesses and get autographs, but I think the next we go, I will have to do a better job of locating them, especially since I will have 2 girls there wanting to see them!

Overall, the trip was a success, but I think the next time I go, I will arrange for someone to watch my kids the last day so I can sleep and recover!

Some days I got it, some days I dont

This was from a while I ago, I just noticed that I forgot to publish it.

I am going to toot my own horn, well, because today I deserve it!

Today, (day 2 of my husband being away) when the kids got up, I brought them all into my bed to watch toy story 2- that is of course so I can lay down for longer than they want to lay down, but dont tell them that. They like to snuggle with mommy and they both fight over who is closest to me, which is sweet, however it does not really get me much relaxation because I am getting elbowed in the face and knee'd in the side alot! If I am holding Sophia at the same time then it really gets crowded. We have a king sized bed, but as close as they all are, we could all fit perfectly fine into a twin! I love it, minus the elbows and knees! Actually, I really do love to just lay and snuggle with my kids, it is one of my favorite things especially if they are laying still and being quiet.

So after our movie, which was only about half the movie because James cannot sit still long enough for a whole movie, I fixed them breakfast and then got us all dressed for another fun day in the snow. I played with the kids out in the yard for a while, we tried to sled but they did not like that, we tried to throw snowballs, but it was too icy so we just walked around in the yard I had each of their hands (the baby was inside sleeping at this time) and we just made footprints in the yard- so mcuh fun for both kids! Then I decided to start trying to shovel the driveway in hopes that my husband would come home. If he did, I did not want him to pull in and then slide down the driveway into our house.

Whew, was that a lot of work. I have not shoveled a driveway in quite some time and I really never used to shovel, my brothers did. I just ran around and told them they missed a section here and there. It was a lot of work- even more work with a spade shovel- finally my nieghbor gave me a square shovel and that made a world of difference. I wish I would have started with that, it would have saved me a lot of time.

Then my neighbor invited us all over to sled in his yard, he has a better yard. By then the baby was up, so I sent the big kids with him and went back in to bundle the baby in the warmest outfit I have for her, which used to be James'. It is like an outfit made of thick blanket material, super warm. It barely fits her but it is the warmest thing I have for her. We only last a little bit because James was getting antsy to get inside and did not like to sled anymore and I was getting tired of holding the baby, my arms hurt from shoveling. Charlotte loved it!

We came in, I fixed the kids lunch, gave them a bath and put them down for a nap. Normally I sit in the chair with the baby and feed her and play with her because she is usually up when I put them down, but today she fell back asleep too so I started working on the house. I threw in a load of laundry, did the dishes, mopped the whole downstairs (kitchen, dining room, living room, master bath and hallway), and put away some toys.

About that time, Brian called and said he was coming home- after he got home, I started dinner and some brownies and then invited over some neighbors for some social time. Two friends and their kids came over- gotta invite people over when the house is clean, because these days- it is rare! After they left, Brian and I played some wii after getting our kids down. Now off to help put away laundry, get the baby down and go to BED!

It has been a busy day- but some days I do nothing but the bare minimum so dont think this is how I am all the time, just on some days!